The Happenings

Here are the happenings since Carter's been home.
Leaving the hospital was kind of weird. We were so ready but also nervous, and it took forever. We put him in his carseat, which he looked like a tiny tiny little dwarf in, and we drove to my parents house.

tiiiiiny little baby

cute boys

getting ready to leave

out of the hospital for the first time!

His first bath was hilarious. look at all those hands. We're a bunch of amateurs. 

First tummy time 

When we got there, We set the baby down, looked at each other and said, "what the heck do we do now!" haha it was kind of an overwhelming feeling. I seriously didn't know what to do. Do I sit here and watch him? Do I take him out and put him somewhere? It sounds ridiculous, I know. Preston was also very emotional. He was happy that it was over, and nervous that we were on our own, and paranoid of letting anyone near the baby. What a funny little roller coaster that day was. We spent the week at my parents house. It was kinda fun and kinda weird. The nights were pretty rough, as he slept in our room and didn't sleep at all. thus, neither did we. I think it's safe to say, we've never had a good nights sleep since he's been born. Yes, the child has sleep deprived us.
We did go out a couple times while the grandmas would watch the baby. It was never for very long, but we missed him anyway! I guess we're new parents.
Alani's birthday and new years eve came and we celebrated by staying in my room all night while alani had a million friends over. It was quite the celebration... :) It was fun, nonetheless, having our first new years as a little family.
Soon we packed up a whole ton of stuff that we were sure wouldn't fit in the car. It didn't... thank goodness for Preston's mom who came to stay the weekend and help us with the apartment. Preston commented on the crazy amount of stuff we had and I told him, "hey look at it this way; a new person just moved into our house with all their stuff." It made a bit more sense then.
the drive actually went pretty well! He did a great job and pretty much slept the whole way. We fed him in Fillmore, then he started to get antsy at the very end. We actually stayed at Preston's uncle and aunt's house in Mapleton for the weekend while preston and his mom tried to warm up our freezing apartment of like 0 degrees. (ok maybe that's an exaggeration, but either way, it was no place for a new baby). They covered part of our huge windows to help keep the heat in, and we turned on a space heater. It actually really helped and sometimes it gets up to like 78 in here now! Needless to say, we're doing great with the warmth. Not to mention this crazy warm weather we're having for a february in Provo Utah. Utah weather is ridiculously bipolar.

At Kimbal and Gayle's house. 

 As for an update on the little guy, He's doing great! at this point in time, he's a little over 2 months old. His due date was Jan 11th, so he would actually be a few weeks old! It's pretty crazy. we track his milestones by his gestational age, and he's doing well with them so far. He's a pretty happy baby most of the time. By happy i mean, not crying. He seems pretty serious, but its probably because we haven't seen many smiles yet. He typically only cries when he's hungry, and when he cries when I'm sure he's not hungry, it's just a mystery..

My favorite time is in the morning. He's always really awake and cute and fun then, and we play together. We do tummy time and read books and do photo shoots. Ok, so it's fun for me.. he just doesn't have a choice. :) It's also the time he does the best with nursing.

Oh nursing... It's been quite the struggle. I'll try not to be too graphic, but let's face it, breasts and nipples are a big part of this whole new world of momhood.
So, in the beginning, was the word.. and that's not what we're talking about, but It came to be naturally when I started the sentence with, 'In the beginning'. Ok moving on.
In the beginning of nursing, I was told to use a nipple shield to help him latch better with his small mouth and lack of sucking muscles. To this day I use it and can't get him off of it. It actually makes me really frustrated that I have to rely on the darn thing. If it were to be lost, we would be doomed. (once it was left somewhere and in the middle of the night when the baby woke up he cried and cried while preston went to retrieve it. It was kind of a nightmare.) I think there;s hope for getting him off one day because recently he's tried without it for a few seconds! It's not that exciting but it's progress, folks. Also, he does this thing where he'll fall asleep eating, then I move him and he cries for more and falls asleep again and I end up feeding him for the whole dang evening. It seems to be getting better lately, so I'm hopeful.
He also struggles with latching sometimes still even with the nipple guard. He forgets to suck and he just battles with it and gets frustrated that it's not just coming out. That is getting better as well.

He can lift his head briefly and move it from side to side while on his tummy. He's getting a lot stronger! We're really impressed because It's hard o lift such a big noggin with such a tiny neck. :)

The first time we weighed him here he had lost a few oz. We started giving him a couple bottles a day with breastmilk and some fortifier to add extra calories to beef him up. It has worked because last time we checked he was 7 lbs 7 oz. I'm almost positive he's at least 8 lbs now. We joke about how chunky he is because he's getting great cheeks, and a little gut along with his leg and arm rolls. We realize that he's actually still very small, but every day I look at him and think, "holy cow you little chunk! You're getting so big!" It's weird to see him growing out of his preemie clothes now. We're so proud of the little chubbers! :)

He had his 2 month shots the other day which was soooo so sad. He was all comfy on the dr table and when they stuck him his face just showed pure shock and he screamed and did the no sound cry face. It was so sad! He was fine after a minute and we took him home and showered him with milk and kisses. He slept for a bit, then when he woke up he screamed and cried like I'd never heard before. It was the most heart breaking thing in the world because there was nothing I could do and I knew he was in pain. Ahh It's still so sad to think about. Preston came home early from work and brought tylenol. Now we know to give it to him earlier... Like I said, we're a bunch of amateurs.

He loves cuddling with his dad it's so cute. One of his favorite places to fall asleep is on Preston's chest. Hey I don't blame you, baby!

He's starting to sleep a little better the past few nights! Since the beginning it's been pretty rough. He's on a weird schedule and still needs to eat pretty frequently, and we usually end up sleeping for only a couple hours at night. for a couple nights we'd feed him, put him down and he sleeps for 3-4 hours, eat, then sleeps another 3-4 hours. It's really a lot better. I hope it continues!

He's started to smile a little! He mostly smiles while he's sleeping, but we've seen a few awake smiles and they're so adorable! We try our hardest to make him smile and most of the time he just looks at us thinking, 'please stop, you're embarrassing me.' :) We like to put words in his mouth.

He's also starting to make more sounds. It's so funny. one of my favorites is when he's nursing and waiting for the milk to come, he's sucking vigorously and makes his poor pitiful little sound of impatience. Oh man, I can't explain it but it makes me laugh. We joke about how he's a little dramatic. Wow we kind of sound like terrible parents..

He looks at us more and is tracking things a lot better.

His head seems to be fine and growing at a good rate! It's such a blessing. We started him in early intervention to make sure he's developing properly so we can catch if anything weird is happening. We're grateful to have programs like this that can help us feel more confident!

He started out with lots of hair but he's lost so much and now looks like a balding little man sometimes! A very very cute balding little man.

He's still on oxygen at night because he seems to have some sleep apnea. We tested it the other night and his saturation would drop and go back up. He does really well during the day though so we take his oxygen off so he doesn't pull on it. I can't wait to be done with it! They say it's something he'll grow out of soon. Until then, more pictures with stickers on his cheeks.

This is a very long update, but all in all, We just love him so much. We still can't believe we're parents and that he's our little baby. Sometimes I just stare and him and caress his sweet little cheeks and think to myself, what a beautiful little child of God. I can't believe He's entrusted me  with the care of this special spirt! It seems like a daunting task sometimes, but It's sure a privilege. Also, I'm so grateful for Preston! He's seriously the best husband and father in the world. He does so much for us and loves us more than anything. We're indeed blessed to have him. I thank our Father in Heaven every day that we can be together eternally! It's such an amazing blessing because I don't know what I'd do without these guys. What an amazing joy the gospel is.

Well, here are tons more pictures! Believe me, you can be relieved that this is all I'm showing out of the plethora of pictures we've taken. It would make for a much much longer post.

look at that face

little feet

this is the best husband in the world

carter snuggling up to his dad 

from our most recent photoshoot 

falling asleep nursing again. look at that little gut

Adorable little polar bear.

Look at this bath robe and booties. How ridiculously cute are they! 

Happy baby!

This is too much... I can't handle the cuteness. 

Stop the madness! yes folks, he is rocking this adorable button up, collared onesie.  

look at those cheeks

Holding his bottle up

My name is Carter an I'm the cutest baby ever. 

his chunky cheeks hang over. adorable.

Another Turn of Events

Well this whole nicu experience has been pretty darn crazy and one that I honestly did not expect to happen.

This one makes me so sad. This is him in phototherapy and also having a little test done, hence the bag catching his pee.. poor poor little guy.  

Such a cutie 

The only one I really have of him in the full incubator. the other ones are just of him inside. Anyways, now you have an idea. 

Preston had to go back up to school on the sunday after thanksgiving, and I stayed here with carter. It was quite the challenge for both of us. I had emailed my teachers about the situation pleading with them to spare my life and give me a chance and passing the semester. (don't worry, it was very professionally written.) They were all really helpful and allowed preston to pick up tests and things and bring them for me on the weekends. I would get everything done so he could take it back to them the next week. It was pretty crazy. After lots of work, I finally finished with pretty good grades, surprisingly, and one incomplete. (I had to be there to do a presentation which he'll allow me to do next semester). I think what made it hard was the combination of stressful schoolwork, Preston and I being apart, and spending the majority of the day at the hospital. I was pretty emotional, no thanks to the hormones, and really struggled at times. My parent's and Preston's parents were really helpful and everyone was really supportive.
Pretty much how it went down for a while was I would go to the hospital and do skin to skin with Carter and just hold him for a few hours, leave to eat, come back and repeat the process. I would also pump. and pump and pump and pump. It was seriously my life and I hated it. maybe I'm just a baby but it hurts! Carter couldn't nurse because he was too early to have developed the suck, swallow, breathe pattern. We would work on nursing whenever he would cue or seemed hungry. He eventually got better and would nurse a couple times a day, then would have some drawbacks and get tired out. They said it's like a marathon for him. He was also in an incubator for the first little bit while he was kept warm until he could regulate his temperature. In the beginning he had an IV in his little head with an antibiotic in case of possible infection. He would get poked and tested for this and that. He was a little jaundiced at one point so he had to be under bilirubin lights. I hated that time because it was a lot harder to hold him and do skin to skin because he needed to be under the lights. Finally his bilirubin levels went back down and he could come off the lights. He was hooked up to monitors thatr would beep constantly if his heart rate, oxygen or respiratory rate dropped or elevated. We got used to it and learned that sometimes it happens and it's not a big deal. It might have been any little thing that babies normally do like have a little reflux or hold their breath for a second while they stretch. He didn't have to be on oxygen in the beginning because he did fine on room air. Only once in the beginning he was given caffeine because of an apnea spell he had. One day after a couple weeks, I think, we came in and he was out of the incubator and in a little crib all dressed up in a little outfit and wrapped in a swaddler thing! It was so crazy! Every little tiny accomplishment was always so exciting. It started to get a lot easier because we didn't have to have the nurses in there all the time to help get him and and stuff. Plus he was so so tiny he was hard to hold in the beginning!
I loved when Preston would come back on the weekends. It seemed to make everything so much easier. I missed him so much when he was away! The last week of the 3 he was up north was the scariest.

First time out of the incubator!

Love this one. 

On monday the I don't know what date, (the monday of finals week) One of Carter's Drs called me on the phone and told me they measured his head circumference and it had increased a lot and was in the 86th percentile or something. They ordered a head ultrasound and it showed that his ventricles were enlarged due to excess cerebral spinal fluid build up. There was also some bleeding in the ventricles. he told me he was going to have an MRI that day that would tell us more. It just so happened that I was having a horrible day that day anyways. Preston had left and I was super hormonal and emotional and stressed because of school and insurance and bills and random things we had to get done that I didn't think I could. I went to the hospital and Carter was having his head ultrasound and his room was now being shared so it was totally crowded and there was no privacy. It made me more stressed and after an hour or more I left so I could get some homework done. I was pretty much a wreck already and little did I know I could become one even more so. I think on the way home I called preston and vented and sobbed and he listened and comforted like the amazing husband he is. I felt a little better after the little meltdown, until I got the call. After he told me all that I just started sobbing again. I didn't want preston to freak out because he was gone and taking tests but I called him anyway because I'm a bad wife and he probably failed his test that day.. sorry babe. Right before the MRI I called and told him what was happening, the very little that I knew. He just started to sob. It was the most horrible, helpless feeling. He said, "I don't want to be here anymore." I also probably made it sound a lot more scary because I didn't have all the info. Then he went and took his first final. Poor guy.
The MRI results showed that pretty much, There was hemorrhaging from his choroid plexus (where spinal fluid is made) and the blood buildup must be blocking the fluid from draining and recirculating through his body. It was causing his brain to swell and could possibly lead to brain damage because of the increasing pressure. Baby's brains are pretty malleable I guess you could say, since they're scull plates overlap and such when they're going through the birth canal. As they get older they stop moving around. My point being, it's good that his skull was able to separate at the sutures still otherwise there would be brain damage. Instead, his sutures felt far apart. We decided that pretty much the next step was to wait. If it got worse, he would have to be transferred to primary childrens and have surgery. (A shunt put in that drains it through a tube into his intestines, or a reservoir to drain the fluid into and remove it with a needle or something) That say was so horrible. I've never felt like such a wreck in my life. I was so scared for my little baby I had just met and I wanted Preston with me. Through it all, my dad had the feeling that everything would be ok. That was really reassuring for me. My mom also had an impression that the answer was to hold a family fast. So both our families fasted for 24 hours and so many other prayed Carter. On tuesday I woke up and felt those prayers. I felt so much comfort and felt that it would be ok. Even if it didn't turn out the way we wanted, everything would still be ok. I know Heavenly Father hears our prayers and tests our faith to make us stronger. It's actually been a really great, humbling experience thus far. I've learned to rely on the Savior and draw strength through the atonement because there were so many times I knew I couldn't go on by myself. I know He was with me and still is.
One thing I really loved about this experience was that every time I left him there at the hospital, I would hold his little hand and pray with him. I would pray that angels would be there to watch over him while I was gone, and I know my prayers were answered because that's exactly what I felt! It was so calming and comforting and I knew he's be protected. I just know of our Heavenly Father's love for us and how he'll always watch over and protect us. And he sure loves his little ones, that's for sure.
Since then, We've measured his head and watched for signs of increased pressure such as bradycardia, lethargy, tightness or bulging in his fontanel (soft spot) and none of them came. His head size only increased a half a cm which is normal for growth, and his sutures came closer together. The ultrasound a week later showed that the ventricles were the same size if not smaller. It's really been amazing going through this trial and seeing all the love and support from people. Carter started to pick up nursing and one day they decided to bottle feed him and called to ask if it was ok because I wasn't there. I was kind of nervous to try because it's a lot easier and I didn't want him to not be able to breastfeed because he had to work for it. He already does this funny thing where he gets so impatient and frantic when the milk doesn't come out right away. He shakes his head and kinda burrow it in frantically and sometimes forgets to suck so he just waits there moving around and making frantic little cries. Sometimes I can't help but laugh because it's so funny an adorable. Other times it takes him longer to figure it out and I get really frantic as well.. Anyways, they said he's been doing well nursing so he shouldn't have a problem going back and forth. He downed the bottle and had been nursing and bottle feeding almost every time. They finally decided to let him go ad lib and just feed him whenever he woke up and cued. By this point, we were staying at the hospital so we could go down and feed him throughout the night. They let him room in with us one night to see how things went. It was crazy because that meant we were getting close to leaving! We had to rush to get a carseat so they could test it. It all went really fast the last couple days. All the sudden we were being discharged! Which was kind of a long, painful process.. He had to come home on oxygen because he's been having some desaturations since the brain thing. Not bad, but they just put him on a tiny tiny bit to help him out. So currently we carry around the baby, the oxygen tank, and the oximeter everywhere we go. It will be nice to just be able to carry the baby into the next room without the whole travel team. They particularly wanted to leave it on when he came up north because of the higher elevation.
Random side note, Christmas was very different this year indeed. they let him room in with us at the hospital. It was kind fun but kinda hard because he would wake up every 2-3 hours or so to eat. That's been the schedule since and it's a killer I'll have to say. We also had family dinner Christmas eve and did the family present opening christmas morning. It was sad not having carter there, but he came home shortly after! This is terrible, but preston andI didn't even get each other anything because of how frantic things were. Luckily we were on the same page and pretty much agreed that the baby was enough this year. I looked at the nativity sets and thought of the Christmas story a little differently as I could relate somewhat with mary and the love she had for her tiny baby. (I'm not by any means saying I'm like mary. not hardly good enough) I would see the baby Jesus and think, he was just a baby like Carter! A pure, perfect, innocent little being straight from God. This thought doesn't really make sense written out, I'm realizing, but it did in my head.. haha My point is, Christmas was a little more meaningful this year.
Merry Christmas and happy new year!

So adorable

I love these boys! Quick story, Preston and I walked around the temple a couple weeks ago, and I just was overcome with gratitude! I'm so grateful for Preston and his love, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to raise a precious little spirit, I'm grateful for the temple and I'm grateful for eternal families!

My little orangutan

He's so reverent. 

Superbaby

Excited for Christmas!

Christmas Family pic. I'm so glad I was wearing the lovely hospital gown... 

After the oxygen was put on. He was looking up at me :) 

Preston and I realized one day that he was totally filling out! It seemed so fast but he looked so different all the sudden. 

Christmas eve  at the hospital

Testing out the carseat. He looks like an adorable little dwarf. He's so tiny in that thing.  

So much love for these babes. 

Preston loves this baby so much. He'll randomly look at me with tears in his eyes and say, "I just love him so much"

Twist in the plot!

As the title suggests, there has indeed been a twist in the plot called, Our lives. Remember how I was pregnant and not due until January 11th? Well Little baby Carter Edwin Stratford must have been super bored in there because out he came, 7 weeks early! Needless to say, we were shocked. (and still are even though it's been a month. On month already holy cow!)
Anyways here's the whole darn story! As long and boring as some may find it, it's for posterity, people, and I personally want to remember every detail. (I'll spare the very graphic ones.. for posterity's sake as well..) (also, this might be the worlds longest post..)
One dark and stormy night, I went into labor... a baby was born.
Just kidding. Well, somewhat true.
So UVU had a whole week off for Thanksgiving and we were super excited to come down to St. George for the break and be able to eat real food instead of the 3 kinds of cereal we'd eaten practically every meal the week before. I know it's disgusting.. but we didn't want to shop before we came down for a week and gave all our food the chance to go bad. That's reasonable right? Well it was a good choice because our food would definitely have gone bad..
Anyways, We got here saturday afternoon and were staying with Preston's family. We went to Harmon's and got yummy food for the week and randomly I started having these pains along with my contractions. I'd had braxton hicks contractions of course but my uterus always just got really hard and I never had any pain. But these were painful! It surprised me because it was so random and sudden. I just kind of figured they were normal and tried to ignore it. They happened every 15 minutes maybe. That was also slightly alarming because I knew they weren't' supposed to be consistent. I went to bed and they continued through the night but I pretty much ignored them and tried to sleep. I actually slept for a bit, surprisingly. I didn't sleep very well, but I usually have to adjust to new beds for a bit. And you're welcome for that useless random fact.
On Sunday the contractions continued and kinda got worse, especially sitting through church. That night we went for a long walk because I heard that walking it off or lying down helped braxton hicks. But throughout the walk, about every 10 minutes, they would happen and I would have to stop and wait them out because they were pretty painful. I couldn't believe that they would be normal but I convinced myself they must be because I was only 33 weeks and there's no way they would be real.
I had kinda asked my mom earlier and she thought maybe it was normal, so I asked Kerry (father in law) and he thought it might be normal too, but I might have downplayed it because I didn't want to scare him even though they really were pretty darn consistent.. He offered to have me come to the office so he can see what's up and I thought, 'well it's probably fine I'll just ignore it.' So I "slept" through the night again, (not well) and it continued. I decided to go to Kerry's office. Also, I had been measuring my blood pressure which had been unusually high for me. It wasn't horrible, but we were all watching it a little.
So the Dr. did his thing, which was pretty darn painful I have to say. Not his fault by any means, I'm sure it's painful for a lot of people. (just giving the details here, people.) I sat up and he grabbed my hands and said something along the lines of, " It looks like you're going into early labor, you're 3 cm dilated and 100% effaced. We're going to take you over to labor and delivery." My jaw just dropped. I was horrified and fear flooded me. That sounds really dramatic, but I was so nervous! I started holding in sobs while he was talking. He asked if I wanted him to continue with the delivery or have someone else do it. I said he cold continue. That was kind of nerve wracking as well because I was worried it would be super awkward etc etc. But later I was glad because it was really nice to have family and support there. He left the room for a second and I just started sobbing and preston hugged me and he was crying too, and it was just a flood of emotions. I was so stressed and scared and unprepared and I had to finish school! I had no idea what to do about school. Would I lose all 17 credits and the whole darn semester's work? Also I had practically nothing for the baby! The stuff we had was in Provo and the important stuff, like carseat, stroller, diapers/wipes etc we didn't even have.
Preston was so good through the whole thing I just have to say, I love him so stinkin much.
We went over to the hospital and they put monitors on my stomach to measure my contractions and baby's heart rate and other things. They just asked me tons of questions they ask everyone, and gave me a few shots for different things. One was a betamethasone shot to help the baby's lung make surfactant so they wouldn't collapse when he came out. (this is the very simplified explanation) We were worried because he needed enough time in the womb for it to work. Every hour made a big difference. They also gave me something to slow the contractions down. They were hoping they would slow enough to be able to keep him in there another week or 2. I got an IV which was horrible. It was almost the worst part haha. It hurt so bad for some reason! They tried to get it in my right hand but it stopped at a certain point and couldn't go further and it killed. Then they switched it to the other hand and they were both sore  and bruised for like a week.
So pretty much after checking to see how far I was again, I was continuing to dilate and they decided the baby was coming out soon. Ahh!! help me... My family had come by that point and Preston and I decided to tell them the name since there was no point in waiting longer. We told them and everyone go choked up and hugged. It was a precious moment because I could see how much all these people loved Carter already! Edwin is after Preston's grandpa, my mother in Law's dad. She was really appreciative and my softy of a dad had tears in his eyes. I think it was just a realization that this baby was real and going to be there soon and actually had a name. Anyways, I have a really great family. My grandparents came in later and brought me a cute plant with a porcelain dove. They're so sweet. Matt was up at school still and was so scared for me and nervous and wanted to be with us so bad. poor little sweetie. Will cam over after work and was all concerned and probably bored during the whole wait but waited the whole time almost.
They moved me into a different room where I tried to "sleep" that night. Sleep? what is sleep? I think I'll never know it again..
I went to Kerry's office around 5pm monday the 24th just to give a timeline.
Poor preston slept on the uncomfortable couch and my dad and kerry kinda  hung around and checked on us a lot. We would see how far I was every couple hours maybe, and the contractions had started to slow down a little. I think I went up a cm every hour and a half or 2 or 3 hours? I don't remember. Family came back that morning and we just hung out there while I contracted and they just did their thing. I was up to almost 8 cm I think and they started to talk to me about an epidural and that I had to decide what to do soon because I wouldn't be able to past a certain point. It was kinda hard to decide because the contractions were painful, but I wasn't dying or anything. I think maybe I just expected the pain to be worse, so It wasn't that bad.. or I'm just super tough!! :) jk that's definitely not the case. I was nervous because I wanted to be able to feel what was going on a little, but I knew it would get more painful. I decided to do it and my dad put it in which was kinda fun. Not for him though. He said later, "I've done tons of epidurals and never had a problem. women can be screaming and whatever else and it's always fine but this time I was so nervous and shaky." It was funny. He did a great job though. It didn't even hurt. Yay for my awesome dad! I love him. Then they put the catheter in with was so uncomfortable and gross. Eww never again. So a little later, I noticed one side of my body was totally numb and the other one felt totally normal. I thought, "What in the fweak just happened.." (Kid History anyone?) Anyways I just kept giving myself a little bolus by pushing this button, but it didn't feel better. I noticed the tube for the epidural flow had come unclamped from me rolling onto it or something. My dad fixed it and I could still feel everything on one side. It kinda hurt so I asked about it and my dad offered to give another bolus but I wouldn't be able to feel anything. I said sure and pretty soon I honestly felt NOTHING. It was the weirdest feeling. I could see them lifting my legs but I didn't feel anything. They could have ripped them off and I wouldn't have known. It was so gross.
I rested for a minute, and around 2 ish in the afternoon on the 25th, we decided I was ready to start. I got kinda stressed and a million Drs and nurses were in there all hangin out and watching the show. (I guess because he was a high risk baby.) It was really embarrassing but part of me didn't care because while I was pushing, phew... I didn't care what was happening. To preface this little section of the story, I was sooo so so tired at this point. I hadn't' slept for 3 nights and I was just exhausted. There were like 4 nurses on one side holding one leg and Preston holding the other. They would wait for a contraction then tell me to take a huge breath and push. It was the hardest thing ever! Not to be dramatic but I seriously thought I wasn't going to be able to do it. I was so light headed and tired and I passed out at one point because of holding my breath and woke up to Kerry saying, did we lose her?' and one of the nurses next to me saying, 'If you don't do this right now we'll be here for a week!" I was pretty delirious and thought to myself, 'I have to be here for a week? Why? Oh my gosh I'm still pushing.. no more no more!' Then I pushed again. It was ridiculous. I think I just kept apologizing the whole time because I felt bad that it was taking so long and everyone would tell me, you're so close! Come on! etc. Then nothing would happen. Finally after this very detailed, traumatic event, out came the head. It was so crazy. Sorry for the graphics but I actually had a mirror because they asked me about it and I thought it was super weird, but when the baby started crowning I said, wait I want to see! It was so weird because I wouldn't feel anything but out he came. It was like an out of body experience and I kept thinking, who's baby is this? This can't be my baby. They mentioned that I had a second degree tear, which I started to feel the next day and ouch I tell ya..
They wrapped him up and put him on my for a second and I was just kind of shocked still. There was a little alien-like baby in my arms! They took him out of the room and brought him back i think? It;s all kinda foggy. But everyone was taking pictures and i was emotional and preston was sobbing it was so cute. He was so happy. He's such a great daddy. Then everyone left and I was just in there with the nurses for a bit. She helped me into a wheel chair and took me to the NICU where everyone was. Preston was in there doing skin to skin with him I think. They say it's super helpful in their development. I's pretty amazing what our bodies can do!
I stayed in a room in the mom an baby unit for a couple days and we would just go down to see carter all the time.

Now if I haven't scarred anyone for life with the gory details, let me share some blessings we saw throughout this experience. First of all, we have no idea why he came early. There weren't complications as far as we knew, but my dad and kerry actually thought I might have started to become a little toxemic/pre-eclamptic. I had some swelling and my blood pressure was going up. It wasn't cause for his delivery, but it he hadn't come I would have had a c- section and ended up just having problems. Also, my parents were planning on going on vacation that week, but something came up and they canceled it. If they had gone they wouldn't have been there! It would have been really hard for me. I just feel like I was really watched over and protected through the whole thing by my Heavenly Father. He sure does know what we'll need and when we'll need it even if it totally wasn't in our plan.

Well, There are tons of updates to make and this post is far too long, so I'm forcing myself to start a new one. It's been quite the wild ride. Feel free to continue on, or take a nap from this emotional roller coaster you may have had while reading this story (oh that might have just been me becauseI'm so darn emotional lately..) Enjoy a random selection of the trillion pictures we have of him! :)

This grandpa loves his grandbaby

Here's to the best husband in the world. 

I can't believe I'm putting this up but I just think it's hilarious how swollen I look in all the pre delivery pictures! and tired.. and boy was I both.